I started this blog/website just before the first lockdown in the UK and it was fun to create a persona; I called her Morgan. the only problem is that I already had two personas before Morgan came along. The first was ‘Anna’ that’s my birth name and it’s what I was called until I turned 20.. you see, I joined a band when I was 20 so I called myself ‘Morley’ and although it was just supposed to be a stage name, everyone started calling me ‘Morley’ even my mum calls me ‘Morley’ now. Anna pretty much died!
Anna was introverted and timid. She liked reading Tarot cards and was interested in the occult. Morley was more extroverted and enjoyed heavy drinking, smoking and heated political debates. So where did Morgan fit in?
Morgan was a product of the lockdowns as well as an amalgamation of both personas I suppose. Morley didn’t like to show her interest in Tarot cards for fear of ridicule and Anna was too introverted to turn her Tarot reading into a business, she preferred being a small town reader who mostly did readings for free. I created Morgan so that I could have the confidence to go online to do readings. It was also handy to use a different name as I didn’t want the people who know ‘Morley’ to find out.
Since booking gigs again and seeing the world open up slightly, it somehow enabled me to rediscover who I really am and I am not Morgan! Morgan had slowly become a bit hippy-dippy. The one good thing about her is that she encouraged all the personas to quit smoking and to cut down on drinking but apart from that, she wasn’t really who I wanted to be.
I’ve decided that I want to be ‘Morley’ but a new and improved Morley! what I’m actually saying is I want to be myself and the name doesn’t really matter, I just don’t want to have three of them! I don’t want to keep making up personas to pursue my various different interests. I want to be a well rounded person who admits who they really are and what they’re into. I can be extroverted and introverted, I don’t need to create a corresponding persona to fit the times I’m introverted and the times I’m extroverted.
I recently set up a shop ‘Weirda Curiosities’ and I want to get that off the ground, I don’t want to do Tarot readings on a professional level anymore. The way that Morgan was carrying on didn’t really fit with who I actually am and that’s when it became more of an issue. I kept thinking that I’d lost my old self but at the same time I didn’t feel that I could be my old self because she used to drink and smoke. The new me doesn’t do that sorta thing anymore but that’s when I realised I don’t have to! people change all the time without having to change their name or their style. I should have mentioend that earlier but yes, Morgan had a different style, different dress sense, hair colour etc. I may have to throw away that blonde wig!
I hope this hasn’t been too confusing to read but yeah, to sum up, I’m called Morley. I won’t get offended if people call me Anna or Morgan or even some other name because I’m not expecting everyone who knows Morgan to read this blog post. I’m aware that Morgan may have to undergo a more slow and drawn out death.
I will no longer be offering my services as a Tarot reader online, but I will still continue to post about the Tarot. I’m opening up a shop that is more my kind of thing. It is made up of handmade objects and currently only has three types of cryptid candles, some gothic jewellery (mainly necklaces) and custom voodoo dolls. I hope to expand it gradually as I don’t have the funds to go all out and make everything that I have in my head.
Anyway if you read this I hope I didn’t come across as crazy or self obsessed haha